Stay Gold.

The mess of my mind, in the rawest of forms.
Nectar for the gods, and sugar for the sinners.


don’t look at me with those lips, or whisper soft obscenities into my skin

when all you want to do

is slowly seduce me onto your




make-out number one, BJ 5th floor

thought I looked cute in one picture, in one dress, only to realize I’m fatter than I look, ew can we not, ew ew ew ew, i love myself, i think i’m grand, i am beautiful to my own eyes but how distorted can those opinions be <

somebody please come love me, i just want a warm hug and a kiss

ate so much at breakfast this morning and was still hungry! doubleyouteeeff, then i had two oreos, and a peanut butter brownie, horrible run definitely had better, forewent dinner and had an orange instead, abs, and shower then sleep, sleep sleep sleep

The way you smiled at me and told me “It’s okay” after I got off the phone with my dad, tells me that you care. the way you aligned your chin on your hands as you looked up at me, in the car, seemed so precious.

When you are strong and calm, people expect that from you. It is so hard to hold in the feelings of breaking and falling apart, to let the tears slip in a public setting. It is never easy being the bigger person.

Listening to Somebody That I Used to Know, and realizing that it it perfectly describing now. You cut me off. And I guess, I don’t need you now, because you are just somebody that I fucking used to know.

You asked me to dance and pulled me into you close. A little rough but if it’s not rough it isn’t fun, right? We danced and talked and talked and dance. I wanted nothing more than to believe that it was something that I could enjoy, count on and repeat. But you proved me wrong, and every night, no matter what is said in between the shadows of the sun and moon, I know I will never be anything that you want.

I’m sorry that I didn’t give us a chance. I hear others talk about what they did, that they didn’t want the distance just to be the excuse for them to break up. And I made that the reason. I didn’t give it a shot, and I admit I was scared. I miss you so much right now, and I just really want to talk to you, to know that you still care, that you still love me, with any inkling of your being. Yet I can’t take it back, because you are still not here and I am still not yours. I’m sorry, so sorry, will you ever please forgive me?

Not worth it.

Hey. Remember me? Ex-girlfriend over here? Reality check. If you think you’re being some sort of martyr